Monday, October 20

Mother Nature just pissed her pants dude!!

Few of you might know that awesome line from Tropic Thunder.

A movie about a war movie that is based on a book.

About five men , portrating a movie based on a man who was a P.O.W. on the war of the Vietcong back in the 60's. The movie was late in being released to the public and the budget just kept growing over the prima-donna personality of the actors and the inexperience of the director.

Quickly , pressure was on said director , as the person who gave him the money and his crew wanted to ring his throat for being a sucky ass.

Yet Four Leafs , the P.O.W. and the writer of the book , suggests in dropping the actors in the middle of the jungle isolated from tecnology and overall civilization. That's where shit go wrong. Wayy wrong.

But first let me tackle the characters. I do not recall must of the names' of said characters...yet they're quite...let's say....memorable.

Robert D. Jr. plays Kirk Lazarus , the aussie , multi-awarded actor who is known for getting inside the skin of his characters...way too much , almost losing his original traits. He goes though a pigmentation surgery making him black, he's australian. He's SUPPOSTED to be white. Thus the whole criticism.

Ben Stiller plays Tugg Speedman , a action hero movie star from back in the days who lost the spark and is stuck in a overall sequence of shitty movies. His last movie called Simple Jack , has him portrating a retarded young man , with rather simple and stupid dialogue. Another shit bomb right there.

Jack Black plays some dude...who is known for making comedy movies about ...farts and fat people. He's on drugs and he's a totally homenage to Chris Farley. Strike 3 on being a shit bomber.

Some black dude , el oh el , plays Alpa Chino , the R&B , Hip-Hop , overall bitchslapping rap gangsta artist , who jumped from selling records to being a movie star. He feels that Kirk's change to being a black and speaking in a overall 70's negro accent, is offensive. He uses the N word. Oh noes , strike 4.

Then some dude I don't know , portraits a rookie actor , who unlike his co-workers , read the script , the book and went to book camp for the movie. He's the only useful member in the gang and unfortunately , since he's new , none of the other actors know his name correctly.

So pretty much the cast of characters is given out to you. Unfortunately , since Ben Stiller wrote , directed and produced the movie , Ben had the 'need' to place his character in a golden bust , outshining all the other characters...but unfortunately , that just made the movie shitty. Yet the other characters seem awesome in contrast over Ben's character. Their lines are hilarious and they're fluent with the scenario. No offense Ben. But next time you write...try and bring out everyone. Not you. The movie is hilarious in some parts and stupid in some. It's like watching a normal movie that has a 60 percent in Rotten Tomatos.

Want to spend your money in a mediocre yet almost shining out to the top film? Here's your shot.

I felt somewhat ripped off. But that's just me.

Saturday, October 18

Orgamic day , equals , orgamic post



I'm off from work today.

SWEET. That's an orgasm right there.

Count : 1

I went off and bought Zatochi's series and the movie and it's artbook. Costed me 79 quid.


Count : 2

I had pea soup for brunch , lunch , snack between and dinner. I'll probably eat it though out the night.

Count : 3

Now I'm writing on my blog.


Count : -3

I got a interesting e-mail from a friend of mine.

It was about a anime site he had and wanted me to join.

Anime? I'm sorry. Japanese cartoons with a fancy french name. I'll diminish it to JCwaFFN

Easy to recall? Enough for your brain I hope.

So I say. Of course.

" No. "

With a polite accent on the 'o'.

He continued on bitching until the 5th e-mail.

With words like. " Why not? ; Come on man it's gonna be fun! ; I need you , you're kinda of smart. "

I replied. " No. "

Seriously. I didn't even read his replies. No. Negative answer. Niet. Nien. No. Não. Jamais.

Then we have the MSN talk. Oh the orgasm count will go down to infinite negatives.

Him >> Dude how come you won't go to my website man?!
Me >> I don't like anime.
Him >> But dude anime's awesome! Teaches you things and not to mention the eye candy!
Me >> Eye...candy? ...Oh you mean the big-breasted chicks. I like those. That's it.

(( I like breasts okay? It doesn't make me a machist pig nor a pervert. Unfortunately I'm both. Honesty is the best tool , people. Use it. ))

Him >> C'mon man.
Me >> Listen , , I'm starting to dislike you're constant bickering. ( I used those fancy words. This means I'm either serious or high. Or drunk. Or both. )
I dislike anime. Don't make me block you and probably track you down.
Him >> Fine...Baka arou.

Oh no he didn't.

He did not use otaku's favourites' line. Baka? Arou? Are you constipated or willing to get shot?

Me >> Bless you.

I answer. Trying to place some humour to ease this bombing F-bomb incoming his way.

Him >> Urusai baka inu.

You. Are. So. Fucked.

Me >> Listen to me fuckface. Just because you know some words in japanese , doesn't make you the man. I'm the man. I'm the guy who probably will get your sister pregnant and run over your dog! I'm the guy your mom will think of , when she's fucking your dad. So listen to me Boy George , 70's japanaphiliac fuck , I'm not in the mood for your bullshit and your nazi talk. And yes. Japanese people were nazis. Still are. Look up gaijin , shit face. They don't like you! THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE ASIANS FROM OTHER COUNTRIES. NOW FUCK OFF. Also..have a nice day, kawaii desu ne. ^__^

He disappeared from my buddy list and e-mail list in minus 5 minutes.

Orgasm count?

Over nine thousand baby.

Friday, October 17

This is madness!! No. This is XBOX360!!!

As the title fits in , you'll reckon of me as a Microsoft fanboy who prefers the 360 over the PS3 because it has Bill Gates' face in it.

Well fuck you.

PS3 sucked ass and had shitty games. Resistance? Resistance in not getting bored out of my freakin' skull....okay okay , I'm sorry okay? The PS3 is a good console , just like the 360.

And the Wii...-giggle giggle-

Oh no I'm not laughing about the fact the Wii's a walking penis joke waiting to happen. It's just the fact that the Wii is graphics wise...under the PS2. But Nintendo always bets on gameplay! That's what I want to hear Nintendo! Now go out and sucker up the little kids with pokemon and digimon and all that japanese crap! GO YOU MIYAMOTOOOO.

I dunno why , but I feel like the Wii's a rejected offspring of the 360 and the PS3 after a saturday night of heavy drinking. Or prom.

But that's just me.

Let's move on to the SERIOUS BUSINESS that led to the title of my post.

I went to a Xbox360 workshop , I didn't name the place , they did , to see if I could get a new 360 in exchange of my possessed ape shit tray opening demon.

They said the following.

" We need to ship it to Germany for repairs. "

WUUUAAAT?! Seriously. Is it hard for you guys to give me a 360 without a harddrive , or controllers? Fuck , I'll even pay for the controller in case my uncle's wife wants to play! Can't they pick up my 360 try to repair it HERE, if it doesn't work , send it to Xbox360 US' headquarters and get the money for the recycling!? And my old stupid 360 would be a new one. BETTER. STRONGER. FASTER. HAR- okay enough, you get the jig.

Shit shouldn't be this hard.

It's a console. Not a BMW. It's a entertainment tool for me to enjoy. Not a death waiting game. Assholes...

But still , now I have a reason to play PC games and my good ol' partner PS2....That is...if I don't find something better.

Thursday, October 16

A 1st post is a good post

Okay , time to get this wagon rollin'.

Rightoh , chaps , here's the deal , this is a blog where I deposit ...well...hmm...words.

Period , next sentance.

People nowadays think blogs are WORTH GOLD. Because they think there's one out there to save them from medium standart of life , where you work , get paid , breed and die , with exchange of E-FAME.

Ya' know , in.. " LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE :( -cry cry whaam- "

No. Fuck you.

1st fuck you in my 1st blog. Achievement unlocked biatchez. 5gs.

I'm not going to be emo. I'm not going to share you my 'feelings', except for anger and overall frustration and sharing the stupidity among humanity.

Because it's not money , or love , or the internet that moves the world.

It's retards like ...I dunno. YOU. That's right.

I hate you. Unless you pay me money or do a incredible stunt to impress me. I prefer the cash though.

Oh don't get me wrong. This blog isn't special. This blog isn't NEW. I'm just that typical guy who prefers to stab his own eyes then to listen certain people talk. Certain people are , at least by quota standarts 81 percent of the world population.


So yeah I'm an oxymoron. Big whoop. Sue me? That's what I thought.


So shit happened this week.

Xbox360 was possessed by a tray disk , turning on power random ghost , the internet was cut off and my stomach is being stabbed. Curse thee Chao Min. Curse thee. Also I broke up with Anne.

But also Anne's annoying. So I'm going to consider that a good point.

Bah da bish!

Okay no more attempts of sound effects of comedy.

I swear.


I also lie like a fuck.


Wow this is fun. I hope no one's reading this. THIS IS LIKE SO PRIVATE OMGZ.

Not really, it's stupid. I feel so stupid right now. Yet so drawn into it , I feel the need to write torrents of words , enough to make a book , a motion picture and a Korean drama with retarded babies.

.....I better write this down.